Expectations and Emotions…

Well people, you all have heard the above two words but time and again, these get confused with each other.

Firstly let me enlighten you with the original definition of both the words.

According to Oxford Dictionary,

  • Expectation – refers to think something is likely to happen or in more interpersonal means; to think someone is likely to do or be something.

  • Emotion – refers to an instinctive rather a strong feeling as opposed to reasoning such as joy and anger.

Now that we have known clearly what these two words really mean, lets come to the point of confusion between these two.

To make you understand the confusion well, lets take a basic example.

Suppose you have lent some money to a friend. He said he will return back your money soon enough, but many days passed he does not intend to give back the money. Now you know he is ‘expected’ to return the money to you but he hasn’t. Also you can not ask him again and again, it would be embarrassing for him as you are a good friend. One day, your friend returns back the money and says “sorry for the delay”. But you are ‘upset and angry’ at him on the delay, so you rub him off and walk away. Period.

*Disclaimer: This is a very generalized scenario. Exceptions may be there.*

In the above story, the person attached his/her emotions to an expectation which led to lack of communication between the two and eventually ended up the relationship.

People generally do this practice. They do not keep expectations and emotions at different ends and tend to lose more social life. With an added techno-emoticons today, this mix up gets more complicated. You are already not talking to them in person, you are also blocking them on Facebook or Whatsapp, a regular reaction which is a very damaging behaviour with ripple effects in this time of century.

You might be thinking,”How I handle this confusion?” and since I am blabbering about it, let me tell you my mantra to get rid of some part of this confusion –

I don’t expect anything from anyone which leads to zero disappointment and total surprise of upcoming “Unexpected” acts.

And you would think again,” What about the emotions?”

Well, emotions get cleared up when there are no expectations in the equation. You just be positive and be stress free, much more clear in mind.

So, now to sum up my post, I’d like to say one last thing,

“Let the unexpected come and feel all the after – emotions as much as you can, because you are only a human being.”

 

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The World of Poetry…

For a philosophical person like me, who had never even tried writing a single poem in her life or even recite a rhyme ( yeah that’s somehow true), poetry enlightened me with the profound world of writing. It all started when my friend recommended Mirakee app. First I researched on it. Then checked its authenticity. Well, then I obviously didn’t know much about writing a poem, so I searched.

“ Poem refers to a piece of writing in which the expression of feelings and ideas is given intensity by particular attention to diction(somehow involves rhymes) rhythm and imagery.”

Although I had read some poems in my school life, also understood them quite well but I somehow could not form one myself. I always thought that poems are writings with rhymes and sometimes in free verse. My very first attempt ceased to only one line of a verse “ Someone in my life…”, because I could not think of another relatable word that rhymes with ‘life’.All I got was “wife” and “knife”, well, you know I can’t use neither.

BUT when I opened Mirakee, saw the writings of other people, I said to myself,” uhhh trying doesn’t kill you”. So I started with writing a quote on a particular challenge they(Writers community) gave us, i.e. “Daymare”. Then challenges came with poems and it established a love for poetry in me. I started to like poems and get inspired to write some of my own.

I learned many new forms of poem writing, such as Haiku, Triolet , cinquain and Tanka. The more I search on it, the more curious I get.

“For the clouds know that,

I have *tenalach with rain,

For it showers pearls.” – An example of Haiku, which contains three lines of sequence 5-7-5 syllables.

*tenalach – Irish, means a deep relation with the nature.

I was addicted to it. I wrote around 50-55 posts on Mirakee in one month, which is so much more than my blog posts. I had in mind that I have to write on many things on my blog but couldn’t do as I have my school responsibilities.

Apart from this, I was reading an article on frontal lobe development, and it said that doing new thing or trying new hobbies can enhance your frontal lobe activity, new hobbies such as poetry, painting etc. I was happy that I started poetry.

With this added benefit, I write poems, one-liners and learn a lot about poetry.

Why our new generation needs a brainwash?…

Ahhhh… A topic worth debating. It is always controversial as there are two sides which gives out their best facts BUT the old base always wins. You would say that I too am a part of this new generation then why am I not leaning to its rules? You would think of me as a traitor to our own kind(hahahhahaha).

Well I am a part of it but I’m not turning into some hopeless stranger in known world or to say living in a bubble. I have my own opinions about this debatable topic and its my choice to choose which side to go. And this comes to my point of writing this topic.

People are trying hard at getting anything or even anyone. They even try hard to get feelings and in that process they have forgotten the basic principles of living a life. I am not teaching you that. I am just telling you all that this “trying too hard” attitude will never get you anything. 

We live in a self-made virtual reality that we have forgotten the line which behold the definite separation of the real world from the World Wide Web. 

Technology is only a boon if used correctly and efficiently. We are taking the old basic information for granted because the new technology has more glitter to it. 

We are not looking at the big picture or even considering the pros and cons of a new technology . 

 But they always say, ” look on the bright side“, so this new generation is not all bad. 

Our world needs new and innovative ideas coming rapidly from this generation. And I know we should not forget our basics but we cannot take the whole lot (the old data) and use it today. It does have some demerits that will only be debugged by new ideas. So we, the new thinkers should not overlook the old data and just fly off on our own. It has never done good to anyone. 

Bottom line is that, we should not be always indulged in the new technology, rather get in touch with the oldies, tap that box to create new ideas for the world. 

Perfection…

Do you want everything perfect? Well who does not want everything perfect, complete in their life. Who doesn’t want to achieve their life goals and live to the fullest. But perfection requires lots of efforts; it needs courage to take out your own flaws and flaws in others too and also improving yourself on each and every detail. Perfection is not some instant noodles that you will get in a few minutes.

It does not matter how much tech-friendly or people’s person you are, perfection will only be achieved by your own efforts and time. It’s just the other name of the self-actualization. What I mean by that is, if you know about Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs , then on the topmost of the pyramid it has been seen that the need of self-actualization is the most prioritized. So to acquire self-actualization you have to first cover you basic needs which are (according to Maslow): [decreasing order of priority]

  • Self Actualization
  • Esteem
  • Belongingness
  • Safety
  • Biological

Many people cannot achieve it because before that they have to be fully assured about their basic needs. And if the scenario of today’s generation is not altered, then there’ll be no surprise in knowing that they are not even able to achieve their basic needs i.e. biological needs and safety needs.

But we can still try to achieve perfection. There’s no secret ingredient for that. All it needs is motivation and proper attention to yourself. How?

We humans crave for attention, for it is the brain which is doing all things (giving attention to various stimuli, perceiving, thinking and remembering). So motivating oneself is a major lift-up for perfecting oneself. And when the motivational cycle starts up, your need takes drive to its corresponding goal. There you are, all good with your new life, THE PERFECT LIFE you wanted.

They say,” Nobody is perfect. Not you or I”.

It is true though but in my opinion, anyone can have perfection. As I told above, all you have to do is cover your needs and you are having your perfect life.

All the people have different kinds of needs and their own way to achieve them. Therefore, their “perfect’ is also different.

When life is perfect, what do you feel??

Happy? Relieved ? confident in every way?… Right, I mean you must be full of positivity. After all, you have nothing to worry about now. So bottom line, a person can be PERFECT in their OWN LIFE, in their OWN WAY.

Good bye and good luck to my seniors

Hello all my seniors, this is Somya- your rightful junior and soon-to-be part of your school memories and maybe a part of your future also( for this, we need to keep in touch)- coming to you from a known source( heheh…).

You’ve spent so many years at this school, years some say will be the most formative of your lives.

Every disappointment could seem like the end of the world and conversely every victory could be felt like an ascension.

You’re going to be all over the country in a few months at different colleges and this school life will be just be a distant memory, forgotten.

And who cares in college about your small school failures; they don’t know that you failed a test or couldn’t come first in a race or couldn’t  become student of the year. No one would be knowing about your school failures, there in college. So what they want to REALLY know ?? They want to know the ORIGINAL YOU.And all these worse moments (if any) are part of the BIGGER YOU which will make the person who you are today and will be tomorrow.

You are the teller of your own stories.

KNOW THIS: LIFE ISN’T FAIR.

It’s not just meritocracy. Getting a merit in academic, sports or in extra-curricular activity is a gateway pass to your college, but you are more than this. Your whole personality, your own self will actually result in what kind of life you choose in college.So do not rely on luck or charity.

Be the hero of your own goddamn story because if you’re not , you’ll end up in a sad, pathetic life. Got it??

So, all the best for all your exams of different sorts in life!!

We juniors will utterly miss you all. Hope to see you soon.

Lost

Ever thought about being lost?

Lost, in the room packed with people but filled with meaninglessness; in an unrequited love; a love once alive but withered because of betrayal; in a place where you can shout out to all your fears disguised as silence; or in your own utopian  world full of passion and zeal.

To be honest, I got lost between these two-three months, because I seriously had no idea of what I am doing. I was just following orders like a robot. I didn’t get any thoughts to let them out here. But  my head felt like it was out of storage for more information, like I got so much on plate but still nothing  fills up my crave.This is not the “lost” I wanted. What I wished for, was to be engrossed in my passion and live through my life with that lovable work. i wished for being lost in thoughts of someone, lost in the nature and lost in the happiness in my brio. I will be much happier to be lost in my own solitude because I cannot choose my “lost” myself, but I can make it.

People are so much engrossed in their paper-thin life, that they have made it themselves like this. They are now so fragile and  into their own egotism-induced bubble. they can’t even be considered as a lost case, because they have not even tried once to find themselves . they have made a so-called pity wall to hide themselves from the truths of world. They don’t listen to the help other people try to give, because they think this help will loan them big time, according to the laws of the bubble. It’s like they have actually lost their consciousness but think they have found their utopian coma.

People are so much insecure that they get mad about not getting love from someone they think they love. It is their own custom-made depressing thoughts that are crowding in their mind and blocking them to create any affection towards other person. This trail goes on, from ones mind to the next person connected to him/her. They should be listening when the other person is trying to get in your life. They should not be judgemental, but have an objective mind at that instant. Judge only when you got all your aspects on that person.

All you have to do is to find the unwanted happiness, because if you only thought about yourself all the time, you’ll be SELFISH and then you will be back into your bubble.

Don’t push your life forcefully, it will be lost AGAIN. Push only when you think it is the last choice.

Make the “lost” you want, you can. I know you will.

Something is new !!…

This is the moment where you remind yourself of what you did all this past year and what it made you into. All kind of memories come by your mind, let it be good, happy, bad, depressing or confusing ( hahahaha all can agree to that). This is the moment you will also know what your mistakes were and what you regret about. But only some of us want to live ahead of those regrets rather reminiscing about them again and again.

BUT this moment, this last moment of your life !…in this year will be precious as you know time will not give you another chance to seek the happiness you will get from ALL these past memories.

Few moments later, there’ll be something NEW in you.Or in your surroundings.Or in anything that is connected to your life. Because when you celebrate this spirit of new year with your family and friends near by, you will be grateful and happy for what this year came with. This “newcomer” will get you some new thoughts, new friends, new hobbies, new desires or maybe even a totally new you!! ( you never know what will happen in this new year).

So not taking much of your new time, let’s take this new year happily, hoping that it will be better than this year; better opportunities, better challenges, better mistakes, better achievements, better social relationships.

P.S.- A friendly tip: Close your eyes for 10 seconds before the clock ticks to 12 and after 10 seconds, open them; you will somehow feel happy about this upcoming year.

Happy New year !!

Travel the life you want…

Tired?Bored??…frustrated by office work?? well all you need to feel good is to get out!! Get away to a new place; let it be a new restaurant or a new city or even a country ! Not only will your body try to adapt and love this change, your mind will also clear out and have fun. Just like hygiene for the external body parts is essential, your mind too needs some garbage management.People hold grudges, or try to hold onto old broken relationships and this, medically harm you. For this you need to LET GO AND GET OUT !!

Let it be getting out of a conversation or a relation or a place that bores you. We humans are the most advanced creations of nature. We have that one thing other organisms don’t, SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. So why don’t we use that !?? We know what troubles us, we know what will make us happy and we know HOW TO ACHIEVE THAT HAPPINESS, let’s get to it then.

The more you travel, the more you are exposed to new people, new things and your mind adapt to these changes and choose the one it most liked. You might ask, this means taking risks and explore every single thing. Well, its true but when you are balanced physically, mentally and financially so that you don’t worry about anything during your travel.You can also travel other countries by making pen pals or Facebook friends which are somewhat similar to you. It is another way of clearing out your mind.

In my experience, going to Japan alone was not easy on the first try, I had to initiate conversations with the other students from other parts of India, also try with Japanese people too. Of course there will be some difficulty in language skills but soon you will know much about another culture and be connected with a country. If you are like an introvert like me, you have to gather courage and go up to people or they would just go with the other person being friendly. When it’s about making new friends, don’t think the other person “wants” to be friends with you, make the first conversation more initiative from your side so that he/she is interested being friends with you and now they will want to know more about YOU. Not only being out of country, when I traveled some states in India, I got to know more about that place rather know its general information(name, capital, staple food).

Now not to bore you more with my travel diary, at last I want to say is that whenever you are lost in your life, you should get out and don’t stop until you find yourself!!

Good and Bad

cut off

I’m really moved by Lord Krishna’s saying,” If there’s self-interest ( Hindi = matlab), there’s no friendship”.People often forget the real meaning of FRIENDSHIP. Standards and ethics are generalised, not followed as a rule for self correctness. Actually, most of the people have a generalised view of other people and this trail continues. This leads to misconceptions about interaction with new people and many expectations from those people.I’m not an expert on this topic but I’m just expressing my experience and my learning about friendship till now.

They say, “You make yourself either better or worse with the people you surround yourself with”.It is true indeed. If you put your trust in bad company, you will only be stuck in one place. You will not grow.But if you change your direction, change yourself and your universe will automatically change.Change is what becomes growth in you.You will stand out of that bad company and even if you are alone in this path, don’t worry, your strengths are with you. Believe me, when you get to the peak of your life, you will find yourself in the midst of “your kind of people”, those people who you have craved for when you were with those “people who look like friends”.

On the contrary to what Lord Krishna preached us, the famous Chanakya said,” There’s always some self-interest in a friendship.There is no friendship which does not have any self interest in it. this is a bitter truth”.You would think why would I say this after all I’ve said above.Well, there is no harm if the person whom you are with, has some self interest with your company. These days there are hardly anyone who prefers a friend with true altruism. What do we expect from each other, that we want someone to meet our needs, and to meet their needs? It’s not bitter, it’s simply the definition of “give and take friendship”.But if their needs are unreasonable and they want you to do it for them in the name of friendship, RED ALERT ! Just back off there and then. You are not under their rule. Friends are supposed to be at same levels. There’s a small line between being self-interested with your friendship and being selfish all the time during this friendship. You have to be alert about such friendships.You might get so close to them that you would not agree that they are using you but try putting your needs before theirs. If there is some trouble in completing them, then you have to get out of that friendship.

All in all, people are only of two types: GOOD AND BAD. Good people are/can be your friends and the bad people are the ones from whom you learn and  grow.So friendship is all about being easy with the other person while meeting each other’s needs equally, either out of care or mutual understanding.

 

Choice…

It is so difficult to choose from two similar things( both your favs) but at the end of the day you can’t have both so you have to choose one of them.Choice is of different kinds and degrees.Actually your whole life depends and revolves around your choice.As Lord Krishna said to Karan in Mahabharata, “It is all based on your choice/decision, whether your choice is good or bad, it will lead differently both ways”.You have to choose from right or wrong. It doesn’t matter in what context, such as choice of friend circle, choice of personal character/identity or choice of career to lead the rest of your life.Just  think for a minute, what you did  was right or wrong, not good or bad; RIGHT OR WRONG. If you are alone in that doing, you can change or alter it into something righteous or productive.But if you are in a group where that event is not right nor good and cannot be altered. It’s better if you ignore the situation or just don’t get involved in it.Example from the great epic Mahabharata, if Karan had not chosen Duryodhan’s side, and would have done the rightful act, Mahabharata would not have happened. Just like this, in life if you take the wrong decision to the road to success, you will always find consequences sooner or later, no matter how high you feel about yourself, if you have made the wrong CHOICE, the consequences will haunt you anytime.

So, to sum it all up, CHOOSE WISELY! LIVE HAPPILY !