I’m really moved by Lord Krishna’s saying,” If there’s self-interest ( Hindi = matlab), there’s no friendship”.People often forget the real meaning of FRIENDSHIP. Standards and ethics are generalised, not followed as a rule for self correctness. Actually, most of the people have a generalised view of other people and this trail continues. This leads to misconceptions about interaction with new people and many expectations from those people.I’m not an expert on this topic but I’m just expressing my experience and my learning about friendship till now.
They say, “You make yourself either better or worse with the people you surround yourself with”.It is true indeed. If you put your trust in bad company, you will only be stuck in one place. You will not grow.But if you change your direction, change yourself and your universe will automatically change.Change is what becomes growth in you.You will stand out of that bad company and even if you are alone in this path, don’t worry, your strengths are with you. Believe me, when you get to the peak of your life, you will find yourself in the midst of “your kind of people”, those people who you have craved for when you were with those “people who look like friends”.
On the contrary to what Lord Krishna preached us, the famous Chanakya said,” There’s always some self-interest in a friendship.There is no friendship which does not have any self interest in it. this is a bitter truth”.You would think why would I say this after all I’ve said above.Well, there is no harm if the person whom you are with, has some self interest with your company. These days there are hardly anyone who prefers a friend with true altruism. What do we expect from each other, that we want someone to meet our needs, and to meet their needs? It’s not bitter, it’s simply the definition of “give and take friendship”.But if their needs are unreasonable and they want you to do it for them in the name of friendship, RED ALERT ! Just back off there and then. You are not under their rule. Friends are supposed to be at same levels. There’s a small line between being self-interested with your friendship and being selfish all the time during this friendship. You have to be alert about such friendships.You might get so close to them that you would not agree that they are using you but try putting your needs before theirs. If there is some trouble in completing them, then you have to get out of that friendship.
All in all, people are only of two types: GOOD AND BAD. Good people are/can be your friends and the bad people are the ones from whom you learn and grow.So friendship is all about being easy with the other person while meeting each other’s needs equally, either out of care or mutual understanding.